Let’s rank some relievers.
The LA Times lists some of the pitchers that Jerry Dipoto is “believed to be interested in,” including Francisco Cordero, Octavio Dotel and Matt Capps. I saw that list, and then I looked at all the other relievers that are available, and I realized I have barely any opinion of any of them. I’m quite familiar with their work, I know their stats, I know what they throw, I know how they celebrate saves. But the world today is nothing but stimulation and controversy, all demanding strong opinions. Who has the energy to form opinions about fungible relievers?
Nobody. But I’ll take the burden on for everybody. What follows is my ranking of all the free agent relievers available. Save yourself the trouble of having original thoughts, and just follow this. Or, if you hate me, follow the opposite of this. That’ll show ’em!
.
- Ryan Madson
- Francisco Rodriguez
- Heath Bell
- Joe Nathan
- Darren Oliver*
- Frank Francisco
- Octavio Dotel
- Jonathan Broxton
- Mike Gonzalez*
- Francisco Cordero
- Latroy Hawkins
- Kerry Wood
- Takashi Saito
- Dan Wheeler
- Brad Lidge
- Matt Capps
- Jon Rauch
- Todd Coffey
- David Aardsma
- Luis Ayala
- Juan Cruz
- Arthur Rhodes*
- George Sherrill*
- Guillermo Mota
- Jamey Wright
- Jason Isringhausen
- Chad Qualls
- Scott Linebrink
- Mike MacDougal
- Chris Ray
- Michael Wuertz
- Chad Durbin
- Juan Gutierrez
- Fernando Rodney
- J.C. Romero*
- Aaron Heilman
- Jeff Fulchino
- Shawn Camp
- Ryota Igarashi
- Hideki Okajima*
- Dennys Reyes*
- Trevor Miller*
- Pat Neshek
- Ryan Franklin
- John Grabow*
- Chad Guadin
- Tony Pena
- Brian Tallet*
- Sergio Mitre
- David Bush
- Miguel Batista
- Ramon Ortiz
- Jeremy Accardo
- Lance Cormier
- Blaine Boyer
- Danys Baez
.
Danys Baez is better at pitching than anybody in your family is at anything.
An asterisk denotes left-handedness, where I remembered.
.