SAFE OR OUT? Carlos Arias writes about the paranoia of fans who believe every call an umpire makes, from a play at the plate to a strike call, is intended to hurt their team. THE ORANGE COUNTY REGISTER FILE PHOTO |
Tuesday, April 22, 2008
OCVarsity Voice: Hey, (fill in the blank) fans, the umpires hate your team
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Carlos Arias writes about the fans he encounters at games.
OCVarsity.com
I'm writing this story to let all the softball parents in the county in on a little secret: Umpires are secretly out to stick it to (insert team name here).That's right. You were right all along.
There is a conspiracy to keep (insert team name here) down.
Hey, it's not paranoia if the umpires really are out to get (insert team name here).
They are trying to do it with every ball, every strike or every close play on the bases that goes against (insert team name here).
(Insert team name here) has been on top for far too long and it's time for the umpires to teach (insert team name here) a lesson by knocking (insert team name here) down a few notches.
The umpires love to homer (insert team name here). There is no greater pleasure in life for umpires than to tweak the outcome of a game, resulting in a loss for (insert team name here).
I know because I was able to infiltrate one of the secret umpire meetings, which are held monthly at LensCrafters stores throughout the county that are chosen randomly to throw off any (insert team name here) spies.
So when you argue or complain about every single ball, strike or call that goes against (insert team name here), you are letting the umpires know that you know what they are up to. And if you know what they know, then it is only a matter of time before everybody knows.
Remember, every loss that (insert team name here) suffers is not the result of the way (insert team name here) played on the field, but it is the result of the elaborate conspiracy by umpires to keep (insert team name here) from winning a CIF-SS softball championship.
Fight on (insert team name here). One day (insert team name here) will overcome the evil umpire empire.
Contact the writer: carias@ocregister.com
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